I thought it would get easier.... I was wrong

SO........here we all are trying to play chasy with the end of the year.

Trying madly to get to the finish line.

This year our second child graduates from Primary school & moves to a new High school next year.

I wrote about my first child starting High school and my feelings about that here.

I didn't have problems waving any of mine off to Primary school.

High school feels oh so different.

The emotions I have as I prepare them for high school and for the next biggest step in their lives- the onset of the teen years.

I wrote a post about late last year called 'The conflict of independence' about the teen years.  About the difficulty as a parent with the notion that what we all want as parents is to set our children free into the world.  To be able to give them the gift of independence is what we truly want- yet at the same time we don't really want to let go at all.

You can read that post here.

I thought I would be better at it this time.

I thought I may have reconciled some of those feelings.

I thought it would be a softer landing.

I thought it would get easier....I was wrong.

It isn't a sadness I feel.

I am happy.

Yet I am not smiling.

I'm crying.  A lot.

I feel so heart full that my heart has filled up and is overflowing out of my eyes.

I watched last week as my 12yo boy - a school leader- as he opened the Grade 6 school exhibition.

He was so capable and confident.

My eldest said to me after his speech- 'Wow he is a natural leader'.

I feel so thrilled to see bits of his adult persona.

He led his Uke orchestra that night too.  He set up the Uke orchestra at his school this year, teaching any kids who wanted to how to play the Ukelele- now with 50 members.  He hopes it will continue without him.  I am confident it will.

My eldest got a video of them playing (you can watch it at the end of the post)- I was too busy crying......

I think that what makes me feel overwhelmed is the feeling that before me is the young man who is fast becoming a young adult.

One I feel very very lucky to have in my life.

I am in awe of him.

GOURMET GIRLFRIEND'S Slow cooked all in the pot Lamb Roast with mixed Beans & POLENTA CHIPS:
I use soft Polenta a bit like people would use rice or pasta or mashed potato.  A yummy side dish to catch all the sauce of a yummy braise.
And I usually always make too much- a fear of mine is having people left hungry at the table!
This is the BEST way to use your leftover soft polenta.
WHAT YOU WILL NEED:

• 200g polenta
• 50g butter
• light olive oil for frying
• 100g parmesan 
• 2 litres chicken stock (substitute Veg if you wish)
• 1 Lamb forequarter
• 2 x cans four bean mix
• 2 x cans of tomatoes
• lots of fresh oregano
• 1 head of garlic (unpeeled)
• 1 spanish onion, sliced into wedges
• 100g Puy lentils
• 2 lemons

Bring the stock to the boil and slowly (This is important) pour the dried polenta into the pot all the while stirring with a whisk to prevent lumps.

The cooking instructions will vary depending on whether you are using instant polenta or not- follow the instruction on the packet for best results.

Once the polenta is cooked, add the butter and the cheese, stir through well.

Now pour your wet polenta into a large rectangular dish and spread evenly across the dish.

 Pop in the fridge overnight.

The next day cut the polenta into even size chips of your choice- i like them to fairly large- you can cut triangles, circles, whatever you like!

In a non stick pan heat up some light olive oil to a medium heat and pop a few of the polenta slices into the pan and fry gently till brown .

Turn and let each side brown.

Set aside on paper towel until you have cooked all your chips.

Serve with whatever dish you like!

I served mine with a whole Lamb Forequarter that I slow roasted at 150C for 6 hours (well covered) in a pan with  a variety of beans (cannellini beans, chick peas, kidney beans & white beans)  a couple of cans of good tomatoes, about 100g dried Puy lentils, spanish onion, a whole head of garlic, a few quarters of lemon & lots of fresh oregano. 

Just put everything into the roasting pan and cover well with foil.  Put it in the oven and take out half way to stir the goodies around but otherwise leave it alone! 

YAY so easy!

The crunchy Polenta chips were a perfect accompaniment for the soft melt in your mouth meat dish.

Here is my lad's Uke orchestra playing 'The Killers- All these things I have done'. He is on the very far right. 
Of course I cry every time I watch it........